If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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