4 words: hood of his car
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
