White coat. Heels.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
a search helicopter?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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