Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
