I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
