there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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