you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Can I color on your dick again?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
