I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
