Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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