you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
