Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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