this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
