Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
