i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
