if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
