I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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