Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
