Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
