Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
