Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
we're so committed to being not committed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
