and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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