Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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