Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
