Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
