And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
