Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We just shotgunned beers for America
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
