Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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