omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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