is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
