is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
