Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
