I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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