If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
