hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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