Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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