I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Randomize
