that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i now understand why vodka
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
