mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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