I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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