Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
