in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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