I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
