Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it's like heaven, but drunker
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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