I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
