your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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