We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
