like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
