i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize