I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
