The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
as a side note pls kill me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize