You're so nebulous sometimes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
