We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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