Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
