bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
