I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
50% drunk capacity currently
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
