So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
