thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
