some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
