Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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