I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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