apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
