the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
