SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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