She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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