dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
