I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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